Letter of Release — From Surviving to Choosing

A little context first:

I am still so fascinated by how situations show up and take me on a journey I didn’t realize I still needed to explore. I’ve been having this for a bit now - unexpected…yes but since this isn’t my first rodeo, I knew there was going to be something or somethings for me to look at. Of course, at the time I had no idea exactly - an inclination, definitely - so I entered willingly, curious and open. At this point in my life, the more I unearth about myself, the greater my capacity for self love, the more love I have to share and the more I fall in love with all of life. So when the little nudge started this morning, I gave it free rein to take me along for whatever was wanting to be witnessed.

What follows is just that.

My journey with my mom has been nuanced, complex and very deep. While I hold nothing but love for her, and still miss her everyday I cannot deny her impact on my life. Today though, on a cellular level, something shifted, a deeper healing, a rewriting of an outdated narrative, and perhaps a DNA awakening. As I sit with my takeaway, what I realize is this: there was another step I needed to take for the women before me and after me - and that step is the actual building of the next floor. This floor, built on choice, inner guidance, trust and belief leads to the next floor, the next dream, the next adventure - a little lighter and a little more carefree. Better late than never I always so! Love you Mom xoxo

Letter of Release — From Surviving to Choosing

Mom,

I want to begin with love.

I see you more clearly now than I ever have before.
I see the life you were handed — not the one you would have chosen, but the one you endured with strength, grit, and devotion.

You did what you had to do to survive.
You carried the weight.
You held things together when there was no one holding you.

I understand and knew at a young age that you didn’t have the space, support, or tools to choose yourself. Survival became your language. Endurance became your posture. Settling became safety.

And as your daughter, I learned that language without realizing it.

I learned to be strong.
To adapt.
To keep going.
To make do.
To stay, even when something in me wanted more.

I don’t say this with blame.
I say it with compassion.

Because you were doing the best you could inside the life you were living.

But today, I gently lay something down.

I release the belief that love must be endured.
I release the belief that my role is to carry what hurts and call it strength.
I release the belief that being chosen by others is the proof that I am worthy.

I release the inheritance of survival as my primary way of being.

I thank you for the resilience you gave me.
It carried me farther than you know.

But I no longer need to live only from resilience.
I am allowed to live from wholeness, joy, and self-honoring.

Where you had to endure, I choose to discern.
Where you had to settle, I choose to align.
Where you had to carry everything alone, I choose connection that meets me.

I do this not against you, but for both of us.

I carry forward your strength, but I add something new to our line:
The knowing that a woman can choose herself and still be loving.
That she can honor her needs without abandoning others.
That she can build a life that feels true, not just survivable.

Mom, you did not fail.
You laid the foundation.

And I am building the next floor.

With love,
With gratitude,
And with release.